没有期望就不会失望...

i saw this phrase once somewhere (perhaps on tv/book/mag or someone telling me) & i do agree that the phrase does hold some truth in it... in fact, this might be my approach to things ard me...

i rather not have any expectation, so that i won't get disappointed if the thing doesnt go thru; but if it does, it will be a bonus... so dun push my expectations too much, i dun wan to see my emotions taking too many roller coaster rides...

人群中哭着
你只想变成透明的颜色
你再也不会
梦或痛或心动了
你已经决定了
你已经决定了

你静静忍着
紧紧把昨天在拳心握着
而回忆越是甜
就是越伤人了
越是在手心留下
密密麻麻深深浅浅的刀割

你不是真正的快乐
你的笑只是
你穿的保护色
你决定不恨了
也决定不爱了
把你的灵魂
关在永远锁上的躯壳

这世界笑了
於是你合群的一起笑了
当生存是规则
不是你的选择
於是你含着眼泪
飘飘荡荡跌跌撞撞的走着

你不是真正的快乐
你的笑只是
你穿的保护色
你决定不恨了
也决定不爱了
把你的灵魂
关在永远锁上的躯壳

你不是真正的快乐
你的伤从不肯
完全的癒合
我站在你左侧
却像隔着银河
难道就真的抱着遗憾
一直到老了
然後才後悔着

你不是真正的快乐
你的笑只是
你穿的保护色
你决定不恨了
也决定不爱了
把你的灵魂
关在永远锁上的躯壳

你不是真正的快乐
你的伤从不肯
完全的癒合
我站在你左侧
却像隔着银河
难道就真的抱着遗憾
一直到老了

你值得真正的快乐
你应该脱下
你穿的保护色
为什麽失去了
还要被惩罚呢
能不能就让悲伤
全部结束在此刻
重新开始活着

I'm really sorry things have to come to this point.
It hurts me as much to see your wounds.
Time can't be turn back.
All I can say is..
I'm sorry.

Judgements may come,
but in the end,
its a choice made by myself,
a choice made with faith.
At the end of the day,
who can tell me what happiness means?
No one.
Except myself.
It's a path I choose to take.
Without regrets.

At times, being too rational means bottling up everything inside.
Afraid that anything spoken might undermine everything.
And all that's left is an attempt at self reassurance.

what happens when a beautiful picture has a missing jigsaw piece.


and no matter how you try to fill up that space, it's no longer the same.


it's your choice, your ability to focus on the beauty instead of that missing piece, or DESPITE of that missing piece.


maybe it was a mistake...

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provide something realistic.

wake up ard 1plus over @ hilary place. had lunch with her, faith n bf. soon after faith n bf went out for shopping n movie. was watching scv on hilary bed, she look kinda bored n was playin with her laptop. so i ask " wanna go out or catch a movie ?" she straight away nod n say yes! w/o thinking... Kekeke... guess she must be damm bored. ;p so i jus say faster go get ready then off she go... dats fast!

less than 30mins we leave e house and head towards marina sq to link up w faith n bf. suddenly got a very strong craving for mac donald fries so went over to have mac nuggets meal while waiting for them n e movie timing.

watched the movie named Rec. not bad, abit disgusting n violent. after e movie, went for a walk ard marina sq followed by sakae sushi. during e dinner, hilary suddenly recieve a call from her client which keep blaming her regarding some banking issue. after hanging up e call, she complain n get upset which i always dun like to talk about work during my meals. so jus tell her off. suddenly when i turn back to look at her again. taps nv turn off!!! ;p tears flowing down from her cheek. kaoz.... my heart soften when saw her this way. aiyo....shouldnt being so harsh to her. i m sorry baby...

after dinner, we took a bus back home as i intend to go home early. suddenly in e bus have e sudden urge of playing mj, so faster rush back to hilary place for a short session of mj. been a very long time ever touch e mj tiles le... ;p anyway play till almost 1am so never go hm again. stay over at baby place again. ;p

went out w hilary, faith n her bf on my bday. went to selegie for lan gaming, have been a very long long time since i play lan game liao...kekeke...anyway had a fun time over there. after gaming session went over to temple as they goin to pay a visit to their late mum. sorry for not able to pay my respect to auntie.

anyway after temple, we took a slow walk to clarke quay and had our dinner @ Renn thai. the food not really nice, maybe my expectation is too high... ;p after dinner went for ice cream @ hagen daz.

went for singing session @ party world, sang a few songs. got a birthday surprise from faith bf! he jus suddenly went home w/o informing me. then i find out frm faith e reason is coz e 2 little kids had some internal arguments over each other thats why he jus walk off followed by faith. kekeke.... best rite??!!! after ktv session, its already almost 2am. so we jus took a cab back to hilary place.

its a simple birthday this year. but i m already very contented! happy to have her by my side. appricate wadever she had done for me. thanks baby hilary!

its a new start of my life. so gonna work extra hard. stay focus. stay healthy. plan, pen it, achieve it! another year older le.... Happy Birthday to myself!

after e haloween comes my birthday celebration! kinda rush as we finish the haloween at 11pm so hilary keep rushing me to go take a train to cityhall which she had a prepared a little surprise for me which she keep dun wanna let me knw where we r heading. but due to my six sense, kinda knw where she goin to bring me to liao... ;p was thinking either equinox, new asia bar, chijmes or some chill out place, confirm is somewhere in tat area!

City space, located @ level 70 with a elegant n luxurious stylish lounge bar. when we enter e bar, we was greeted by a waitress which lead us to a window seat w a panoramic views of Singapore.

i was totally mesmerised by e views and smooth rhythms of light jazz from e vocalist and pianist. it was so cozy which i almost fall aslp on the armchair! when 12 mid nite strike, cake was being brought out with dim lights n all the rest of floor guests was looking at the direction i was sitting. was kinda shy n delighted. e vocalist started to sing birthday song to me n followed by a special delicated song (Loving u) from hilary. was so happy that baby hilary arranged this surprise for me even she is tight w her work schedule. really appricated her tots n effort!

had some quiet n romantic moments w hilary, looking over e panoramic view infront of me. was thinking wads e plan, target n achievements for the coming year n ofcoz some reflection of e past. really have to work harder le. cant slack le. have to be focus on wad should be done!

left e city space around 1plus and took a cab to hilary place overnite. preparing for e next day program! ;p

Had a very wonderful birthday lunch treat by my col @ central Tong Lok. Wad an excuse they have for me saying meeting at 1pm in office, they still dun know i m so smart de. how can it be to have a meeting before the month? Hope they will think of a better idea next year! hahaha... anyway thanks melvin, luke, jerry n ofcoz my bro! appricate the effort n expensive lunch for me.

Its haloween nite! Will be my 1st year celebrating it as its always my bday celebration on e 31st oct nite, somehow this year its different. met up with faith (hilary younger sis) @ farrer park mrt to link up w hilary @ vivo. while we r on the way to vivo, actually dun really know how to pick up a topic with her sis as maybe she is jus too young...kekeke. but we get along easily. she jus have to take my suaning n tekan session only lo... ;p

Link up w hilary @ vivo, and everything was kinda rush but still managable. link up w her friends over at the gate to e ferry. wow... they really put in the effort sia! sch uniform theme! kekeke... so funny which i cant stop laughing at e way they dress up. maybe not really used to this type of occasion bah... boarded e ferry. quite a disappointment. area is small, food not nice at all, performance so so only. but anyway its a experience for me. i dun really mind. its ok de! everything ended at around 11pm and we were brought back to de jetty @ vivo. anyway thanks to baby hilary! ;